STERLING, SILVER BAN

    Hey 2 Dicks Sports fans! It's been awhile, but we're back to bring you everything sports, in a most blunt and terse fashion. A lot has happened since our last sports' posts, too much to get into, so i won't. Instead, I'm going to give you my 2 cents on the whole Sterling debacle.

    Ya racist douche! Really?!?! I used to believe wealthy people had brains! Well at least a big enough brain to realize it's 2014, not 1814. I mean, WTF?! Are you the dumbest piece of elephant excrement that has ever walked the earth? Is your brain the size of a god damn penny?! Because that's basically what you're worth in my opinion. We should be talking about the fabulous first round of the NBA playoffs. But we aren't. Instead, you're penis-swallowing ass is getting all the attention. I'm so glad the NBA commish banned your monkey-nipple licking, penis wrinkle, dildo inserting biotch ass. Not only did he need to be banned from the NBA for life, he needs to be banned from breathing our air. If you haven't noticed, I hate Sterlings' guts lol.

    Sports have been a huge factor in forwarding civil rights in this country, and abroad. Things have changed for the better the last 50+ years (When it comes to equality), yet we still have morons like Sterling trying to bring us down. If it weren't for sports, god knows where we might be when it comes to civil rights. Like i said earlier, Silver deserves a huge amount of credit for dropping the hammer on Silvers' racist ass. But if i were the commish, i would add an additional punishment. I would lock his ass up in Guantanamo Bay for awhile, so he can get all the c**kmeat sandwiches he desires. Sounds like the perfect punishment for an idiot who thinks he can own people and talk about them as if they were slaves. The sooner this f**ktard is gone, the better. So we can get back to talking about sports!!!

GO SPORTS!!!

alright, so foolsball is over. we got a shortened basketball season, and the caps are struggling to get into playoff contention. what we got here is a craptastic wizards team, a terps team that keeps coming up short, and nothing significant sports wise til mid march. what we have here is complete boredom. what am i supposed to watch, a celebrity bowling match, golf that is sure to electrify the sports world. jesus flippidy doo, i hate the sports variety. sorry to be a debbie downer, i guess i just love football so much, the thought of not having it til mid september is a devestating blow to my already frail subconscious. sorry for rambling. its just no sport even comes close to be as fun to watch as football. it should really be year round. oh yeah, the xfl. nevermind, forget i said that. nonetheless, i pray this weeks conferemce showdowns in college basketball is somewhat exciting. ill holla tomorrow when i get caught up on it bitches.

BREAKING NEWS!!! Jay-z and Beyonce have a baby!

Yu Darvish is a Pot Head

    Here....we....go!!!! Grab a case of beer!! Get out your half bag of potato chips. Take out the half bag of ice, your 12 tacos, and call up a mini retired nfl coach. It's championship weekend time! Time to see who goes to the biggest game ever, the mu fuckin Superbbowl!! Who do you thinks got what it takes to get to the big dance? Is it gonna be the seemingly unstoppable offense of the Patriots, or the defensive powerhouse Ravens who prevail in the AFC? Can the 49ers upend the Giants, who seem to be getting better week after week? Well, I have no idea! That's why they play the games, I'm not a damn psychic!! Geeze! But, I will give my predictions, and they will undoubtedly be correct. So take that!

vs

    Game 1: San Francisco Giants vs. New York Giants

    Out of the 2 games this weekend, this one seems the more intriguing to me. Even though they met earlier in the year, it's sure to be a doozie! Alex Smith had the game of his career last weekend against the Saints in the divisional round of the playoffs. Throwing for lots of yardage, and a tochdown or two is one thing against the Saints. But against the Giants, I don't think so!! I doubt he'll even get half of the 31 fantasy points he had against the Saints. The Giants pass defense seemingly gets stronger and stronger, week after week. As far as Eli Manning goes, he's also been on a roll. But the 49ers have a much stronger defense than the Packers do. Can Carlos Rogers continue his dominate cornerback play, where he actually intercepts the ball. Not like when he was with the pitiful Skins, LOL!!! God, the Redskins suck. Anyway, I got the Giants in this one, 24-19. I'm counting on the 12 year old looking Eli to strike fear in the 49ers defensive backs.

 

vs.

    Game 2: New England Patriots vs. Baltimore Ravens

    I really think this game comes down to Ray Rice. He was useless last week, almost allowing Houston to come back and win. Brady always sucks monkey nipples against T-Sizzle and Ray Ray, so he'd better step up and stop bein a girl. He's such a pussyfoot! Once he gets knocked around a little, he starts sucking. Yep, you got it, monkey nipples. The Ravens defense is sure to keep the Patriots' Gronkowski and Hernandez in check. Knowing they're now the heartbeat of the Patriots offense, the 2 nasty Ravens Linebackers and Big Eddy must contain the 2 huge playmakers. Knockin 'em the expletive out early in the game is the number 1 objective. Make 'em scared like they were against the Steelers earlier in the year, and then piss on 'em. Maybe not that last part, but whatever. I got the Patriots winning 27-17, only because I hate them, and teams I hate usually end up winning. It sounds lame, but I don't care, hehehe.


    So there ya have it 2Dickssports fans. The New York Giants vs. The New England Patriots, in a Superbowl 42 rematch. That doesn't sound exciting I know. I'll be rooting against both the Pats and the Giants, so I hope I'm wrong. It's gonna be fun to watch regardless, go FOOTBALL!!!!

I'm BA-ACK!!!

    Hello 2DicksSports fans, I'm ba-ack!!! Youv'e probably wondered what happened to your favorite 2 sports bloggers. Well, keep wondering gayboys, it's none of your damn business!! What's important is, we're back and ready to explode your eye pussy's with hilarious sports anecdotes! So, get back on the 2dickssports bandwagon bitches!!! We're back, for now. So check our shite out now, who knows how long we'll keep blogging. Obviously, we get bored easy. The more blogs ya'll read, the more blogs we'll post. The more blogs ya'll comment on, the more we'll feel obliged to kick the shit out of the blogging world. So please read, and enjoy!!! Eagles!!!

Free agency galore!

this is insanity. i wish the nfl locked itself out every year. i will take the complete and utter madness of a five day free agency, rather then a five month spread out lameness that it usually is. maybe im biased, since the eagles had maybe the best free agency period of all time, picking up asomugha, v, young, babin, and jenkins, just to name a few, tehe. anyway, ive yearned for the nfl, and it came back with an accidental ferociousness, with the likes no one has even thought about seeing before. keep it up, im lovin it. even the skins made some smart moves, which surprised me, since they usually do idiotic things, which i admit, i mock yearly. getting rid of fat albert, although im sure he will act differently in new england, because they win. saying sionora to mcnabb, and recieving much needed future draft picks, that in the past theyd be giving away. the jets, getting plaxico, a true offensive threat, in which i think will be hungry to dominate again. who wouldnt, being in jail will undoubtedly set you on the straight and narrow. my odds for this years superbowl are as follows.... packers. it doesnt matter who picked up who during the free agency period. green bay still has the same team, they have the best chance to win it all. patriots. dont forget new england only last two games during the regular season last year. picking up mr. cinco will ultimately put them in the superbowl. eagles. although they had the best free agency period ive ever seen, theyre still the eagles. im used to them looking amazing, til they get to the nfc championship game and choke. jets, jets, jets. i dont know why, i just like rex ryan. either way, theyve made it to back to back afc championship games, and i think its their time. so, its gonna be eagles and patriots in the superbowl, lol. just kidding, thats only what im hoping for. a superbowl thirtynine rematch. go eagles

FINALLY!!! The lockout is over!!!

yaaaaayyyyy. i cant befuckinlieve it, its finally over. thats right, the nfl lockout is over. now, we can get down to some business. now, greg can blog about favre joining the eagles as a backup, hopefully ending the possibility of a catastrophic natural disaster. finally, the skins can pay some ridiculous amount of money to an unworthy player, setting them back another year. finally, we can talk about something other than baseball, which has basically become a mockery. for the love of god, finally, i can start thinking about fantasy football, which i hope to repeat last years championship season. and yes, finally, sports talk radio is relevant again, unless youre doc walker. so lets get ready ya assclowns, ya damn straight im ready for some foolsball.

Cmon football!!!

ive got no blog to report. im just completely bored and cant wait til this stupid god damn nfl lockout is over. thats all, go eagles....

Will it end today?

this is the day most experts say the lockout will end. for the love of god, let it be so. imtired of watching baseball, golf, and womens soccer, wtf. we all need some free agent talk, especially me, since i know the eagles have some huge decisions to make. lets all keep our fingers crossed, i need to start reading the fantasy football preview, hurry.

Vince Mcmahon gets fired!!!

wow, who wouldve thunk it. just one day after c.m. punk snatches the wwe title from john cena at the money in the bank ppv, and leaves the wwe with the title, and right before firing cena for losing, triple h comes down to the ring and has two words for him, youre fired. well, it wasnt as cold blooded as that. paul lavesque, triple h, told mcmahon the board of directors had a meeting and decided to relieve him of his duties as head of operations. with genuine tears flowing down mcmahons face, triple h began to tear up, telling mcmahon that he was now head of operations. wow, look over your shoulder vinnie mac, the heir to throne is in the hizzy. did triple h even retire yet. couldnt he just give himself the belt, since there is no wwe champion, since vince stopped the championship bout from happening on raw. crazy shit. i guess tune in next monday night to see wtf is goin down. degeneration x.....

Derek Jeter hits 3000!

even i have to admit it was an impressive performance by derek jeter saturday night. not only hitting his three thousandth hit, his three thousanth hit was a homerun, and he finished the game five for five. the only yankee in history to accomplish the feat, i must give him his due props, even though he did fake that calf injuey three weeks ago so he could get his three thousandth hit at home. congrats jeter.

Top 10 Sports Dramas of All-Time

Hello 2 Dicks Sports fans, I've compiled a list of the Top 10 Sports Dramas of all-time, according to yours truly, the older Dick. This is my opinion, so don't get your panties in a bunch if you don't agree. This is more of an article than a blog, its pretty extensive, it has taken me a week to write, sorry for the wait... Enjoy!!!!

10: Rudy (1993)- Starting at number 10, is Rudy! In Sean Astins finest acting job, next to The Goonies, future hobbit plays Daniel E. Reutigger (Rudy), a pint-sized unathletic dyslexic football player, whose creepy obsession with Notre Dame football consumes him. With no support from his family or friends, he leaves them and his girlfriend behind to pursue his dream. After being mocked for his low grades and no athleticism, his passion and heart gained the support of the other players, and the team rallied behind him. After being diagnosed with dyslexia, his grades began to improve enough for him to join the team. In the last game of the season against Georgia Tech, Rudy finally got the chance he dreamed about for the last fifteen years. He played one snap, and had one tackle, as the crowd chanted Rudy! Rudy! Everyone loves an underdog story, and Rudy portays the underdog role to a t. The actual footage of the last game against Georgia Tech, was filmed at halftime in a 1992 game against Boston College, so the crowd was actually live, which was rare (most films used computer-generated fans to fill the stadium). In fact, it was the first film in 53 years that was shot in the Notre Dame stadium. Go Rudy!

9: Rocky IV (1985)- On the verge of retiring, Rocky Balboa stands in Apollo Creeds corner, as Apollo boxes in an exhibition bout agaist steroided-out Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren). After Creed gets absolutely hammered in the ring, and dies, Rocky vows to revenge his death. Rocky trains in Russia, running up snowy mountains, and tossing logs around. He actually relinquishes his belt to box Drago on Christmas Day in Russia, in an unsanctioned bout. After taking early punishment in the first few rounds, Rocky gets some good blows in, giving Drago a gash near his eye (which apparently makes the steroids wear off, lol). The entirely Russian crowd, who heavily cheered for the hometown american killer at first, began to chant for 'the iron horse" (The first time Rockys mentioned by a different nickname than "The Italian Stallion"), Rocky! Rocky! The roided out Drago commy (Lundgrens actually from Sweden) then gets his ass handed to him in the 15th and final round. America, Fuck yeah! Rocky IV is the highest grossing boxing movie of all-time (with $127 million in sales), and is the second highest grossing sports drama next to The Blind Side. A crowning achievement in cinementography with cold war patriotism, which makes Rocky IV an all-time great!

8: Invincible (2006)- The true story, in 1976, of Vince Papale (Mark Wahlberg), a substitute teacher and part-time bartender from South Philadelphia, whose dreams come true when he goes to an open tryout conducted by Philadelphia Eagles coach Dick Vermeil. With the oppurtunity of a lifetime, he impresses the coaches with his footwork, and ability to learn quickly even without any college football expereience under his belt. Miraculously, he makes the team as a special teams player! Battling his personal problems, and the not-so-friendly neighborhood of South Philly, he runs into New York football Giants fan Elizabeth Banks (yummy), and falls for her. His play on the field becomes Invincible, culminating in his best professional game against the hated Giants. His crowning achievement comes on a muffed punt, where he snags the ball from the Giant bastard and takes it to the house for a touchdown! A true classic, although I do admit I love it so much due to my Eagles' bias, is also highly hilarious that the movie was filmed in Texas Stadium! Haha, killed two fags with one movie!

7: Miracle (2004)- What america needed was a miracle. What it got was a hockey game. It was 1980, and the Olympics were on the horizon. Herb Brooks (Kurt Russell), former Olympian for the '64 & '68 U.S. hockey teams, was chosen to lead an all-college U.S. hockey team to glory. The odds were heavily stacked against them, but the more games the team played together, the stronger they grew as a team, and family. Heading into their semi-final game against Russia, who had recently beat an NHL team of all-stars a few months prior, Coach Brooks told his players they were more of a team than the selfish all-stars of the NHL. A seemingly unstoppable Russian team came into the games with 4 consecutive gold medals in hockey, but the americans were a team of destiny, and made the Russians their bitches. Holding the Russians to no goals over the last 10 minutes of regulation, the crowd at The Field House in Lake Placid, NY went bonkers as the time clicked down... Al Michaels famous quote perverberated around the world... "Do you believe in miracles? Yes!"... the most memorable quote in Olympic history! Amazingly, with over 280 miles of film used, Miracle used the most film in any Disney movie in history. U.S.A.!!! U.S.A.!!!

6: Raging Bull (1980)- A thrilling roller coaster of emotions, Jake Lemotta (Robert Deniro), an up and coming middleweight boxer in 1941, shows his fury for boxing and life. From his accomplishments, such as winng the championship belt, all the way to his downfall and subsequent mental breakdown, Martin Scorcese depicts Lemotta only in a majestic way that Scorcese can. From brash and sadomasochistic rage, to sexual jealousy, Jakes animalistic appetite for self-destruction impales the viewer in a variety of ways, leaving them awe-stricken and shook to the core. Another masterpiece! If it weren't in black and white, it would be higher on the list, lol. Joe Pesci's role as Lemottas brother is classic! His unique way at looking at life, and his extremely explicit commentary is priceless! Sparring on the other hand, wasn't his strong suit. In one scene, Deniro accidentally cracks one of his ribs, as the camera instantly goes to a different angle, haha! Another tidbit, from the sound f/x in the movie, is that the punches heard were actually melons and tomatoes being squashed, and camera flashes were actually gunshots being fired.

5: Hoosiers (1986)- The gripping story of a high school teacher/basketball coach, Norman Dale (Gene Hackman), who pulls a team, and eventually a community together, creating an unstoppable force. It wasn't easy at first for Dale, who was fired from his previous coaching job for striking a player, only 7 players tried out for the team, and the best player in town deciding not to play basketball that year. As the season began, the community became unfond of Coach Dales temper and boring coaching methods, and eventually had a town meeting that almost led to Dale getting fired! Out of left field, Jimmy (the best basketball player in town), saw something in Dale and agreed to join the team. The town went crazy, and the rest is history. Gene Hackman is the man, they couldn't have picked a better actor to play the role. I can't seem to leave the room when it's on tv, I don't know why or how, it just grabs on, like a preying mantis gripping its mates head after consimating, and won't let go.

4: Chariots of Fire (1981)- The only foreign film on the list, Chariots of Fire is a test of racial and religious pride. Ranked 19th by the British Film Institutes top 100 Films, its the journey of 2 British runners, Eric Lidell, a devout scottish christian that runs for god, and Harold Abrahams, an English Jew, who runs to overcome prejudice, and their ride to the Olympics. It also has the greatest song ever, Chariots of Fire, thats been used in a million movies, as sort of a slow motion victory interlude. Awesomeness!! While Lidell refuses to run in a heat on a Sunday, god's day, even though he was pressured by the Prince of Wales and the British Olympic Commitee (which made worldwide news), it looks like his dream might fall short. But, teammate Robert Lindsay, who already won silver in a previous event, gives up his slot in a 400m race to Lidell. Meanwhile, Abrahams (the dorky professor from Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield) falls short against the heavily favored U.S. in a 200 meter race, only leaving him with one chance left, the 100 meters! Incredibly, both Englishmen win their respective races & the respect & admiration of an entire continent, if not the world. The British team returns home triumphant! If you haven't seen this movie, please go watch it as soon as possible. It's definitely worth it!

3: The Natural (1984)- Only true sports fans know how great this movie is. Starring Robert Redford, Robert Duvall, Glenn Close, and Kim Bassinger, The Natural is the story of a young farmboy who was on a train headed to Chicago for a Cubs tryout, but was shot in the stomach, ending his dreams. One day while farming, his father has a heart attack and dies, so he must manage the farm. With his passion for baseball still there, Roy Hobbs (Robert Redford) witnesses a lightning bolt strike a tree on his farm (the same tree where his dad died under), that splits the tree in half. He makes a baseball bat from the treelimb, naming it Wonderboy, and it seems as if the bat has supernatural powers. At 35 years old, he tries his hand again at playing baseball, and is signed by the NY Knights, due to his "Natural" baseball talents. After finally getting his shot, because one of his teammates dies running through the outfield fence going after a flyball. He instantly begins to shine, shockingly knocking the cover off the ball, after a hitting coach inspired him to do so. In the greatest scene in sports movie history, when Roy hits an amazing homerun that busts out the lights (in what had to be an 800 foot homerun, all while his stomach bled through his jersey), The Natural will go down as one of sports greatest movies.

2: Field of Dreams (1989)- The movie fashioned after a best-selling novel ny W.P. Kinsella, is a story of an Iowa corn farmer Ray Kinsella (Director Alden Robinson used the authors last name for costner's role), who all his life searched for his dreams. One day while farming in the field, his dreams came looking for him, as he hears a voice tell him, "If you build it, he will come.", and sees a vision of a baseball field. It is "HE will come", some people think the voice (Ray Liotta) says "THEY will come", but that's not the case. Ray (Kevin Costner) interprets this message to mean he must build a baseball field on his farm, even at the cost of almost losing his farm, and alienating his family. After nothing happens on the newly constructed baseball field, and hope is lost, Rays wife notices someone on the field. To his disbelief, it's the ghost of "Shoeless" Joe Jackson (Ray Liotta), a former baseball player for The Chicago Black Sox in 1919, who was banned from the game for throwing the World Series. Eventually, the ghosts of the other 7 banned Black Sox players come out of the cornfield, wanting to play a game. When the voices continue, Ray seeks out a reclusive Author (James Earl Jones) to help him understand the meaning of the messages & purpose of the field. All culminating in the greatest tear-jerking moment in Sports Drama history, as Rays father comes out of the cornfield to play catch with him (sniffle). Field of Dreams has so many great quotes that have grasped a generation, but I doubt younger people even care; morons. Quotes like, "Feel his pain", "Go the Distance", and the 39th ranked movie quote of all-time, "If you build it, he will come.", Field of Dreams sparked a fire in the heart of the most manly men, breaking them down into little weeping babies, and spread gut-wrenching emotion around the world, even winning best foreign film in Japan. My favorite movie as a kid, no question Field of Dreams deserves the number 2 slot.

That means, we're down to the nitty gritty, the numero uno grand spectacular end all of all Sports Drama.... The Greatest Sports Drama of all-time is.....

1: Rocky (1976)- Adrian!!! It's blatently obvious, the greatest sports movie (not just sports drama) of all time is Rocky! Rocky is the story of a young, poor, kind hearted debt collector for a loan shark, who gets the oppurtunity of a lifetime to box for the heavyweight championship. Training in Philadelphia, running up the famous museum steps (Eye of the tiger son!!), and taking club fights for nickels and dimes, Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stalone) just tries to survive in a tough neighborhood of Philadelphia. At the same time, with the bi-centennial around the corner, Heavyweight boxing champion Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) looks to find a "Cinderella" challenger for a July 4th championship boxing bout. A man he can "glorify" for a few rounds, before pummeling them and knockin em the fuck out! He saw Rocky fight, and knew instantly he was his man. While training, Rocky falls in love with a shy, reclusive girl who works in a pet shop, Adrian (Talia Shire), and everything falls into place as he boxes the match of a lifetime, knocking out Apollo Creed in the 15th round to claim the Heavyweight Championship of the world!!! Shot in 28 days, and modeled after a 1975 fight between Ali and Wepner, Rocky is a true great, and is ranked 57th on AFI's top 100 greatest movies of all time!! With historic moments like, "Yo, Adrian!", the 80th best movie quote of all-time, and the glorious run to the top of the "Rocky Steps" (Philadelphia Museum of Art), everyone and their mothers have seen this sports collosal. Winner of 3 Oscars, including Best Picture, it was the first movie to use the stedi-cam (like in the tv show COPS). Most people don't know that Bette Midler was offered the part of Adrian, but declined, later on admitting how big a mistake that was. Also, the gloves used in the movie were referred to as "Casanovas", and were illegal in the U.S., and they used them because they looked so sleek. When filming the 2 scenes running up the "Rocky Steps", they were filmed 2 hours apart. Before, and after sunrise! The Rocky franchise, with its 6 movies, has earned 1.25 Billion dollars!!! That's a Sly Stallone!!

Everyone bow down to Rocky, The Greatest Sports Drama of All Time!!!!

That's it, I hope you enjoyed! Again, this is only my Top 10, and my opinion only. Every movie on the list I have seen. So, certain movies like The Wrestler aren't on the list, simply because I haven't seen it. Please leave a comment, any and all are welcomed and appreciated. Thanks again for supporting these 2 Dicks, holla! Please vote for your favorite Sports Drama at the top left of the blog!

Ming Yao, "Zai Jian!"

after nine injury plagued years, the greatest basketball player in chinese history hangs up his size thirty shoes. damn, not only is the nba being locked out, all of their profit from rockets marketing of ming jerseys is maybe even a bigger financial blow. the most voted for allstar of the last ten years, due to the two billion asian voters, yao will go down as the greatest giant man of all time. im talkin freakishly giant, over seven four. no other giant man really made that big an impact. he almost made houston a contender again, but all of his leg and foot injuries wouldnt allow him to be consistent. poor giant headed chinaman, thanks for all the memories.

Michael Beasley; Pothead

really michael beasley, driving eighty four miles per hour with over sixteen grams of chronic under your passenger seat. but, wait. he said it was a friends who accidentally left it there. uh, okay. would you rather be a pothead, or a coplete moron. id choose pothead. just tell the truth, that you were late to a party and perhaps there might have been some hotties there. perhaps other nba locked out players were there, counting on those headies for mass tokeage. i.e. jason terry, portland players. either way, i wanna chill with this guy. holla at ya boy beasley, its gonna be a long summer. btw, do you prefer purple haze or sour diesel....