Manly men men men, manly men men men. Hello 2 Dicks Sports Fans!! I've made a list of the top five most manly sports, and here they are. Please, if you think you know of a more manly sport, leave a comment at the bottom. Here we go....#5: Soccer- If you just got extremely excited to see Soccer crack the top 5, and just went from 6 to 12, you're not a true sports fan. I put this sport (if you can call it that), the most popular "sport" in the world, on my countdown specifically for shits and giggles! So... Drop this from #5, to #last, because Soccer is by far the least manly sport.
#4: Baseball- A few years ago, I would've put baseball in front of basketball. But, since ALL of the records over the last 15 years are inflated, baseball has become less manly. I mean, if you feel the need to cheat to win, you must not be too confident in yourself, pussy-foot peaches. Plus, the fact that most baseball players have tiny testacles, high pitched voices, and larger titties, some would say they're less manly than soccer players!
#3 Basketball- These giant freaks of nature are pretty damn manly. Averaging 6' 8" 210 lbs, basketball players are probably the most purely athletic of any sports competitors. With they're ability to jump over cars for dunks, who would disagree? The only thing that keeps basketball out of the top two is their standard ability to act like ignorant children. Crying like the Heat players did during the regular season, bringing gats to the locker room and showing them off, just stupid moronic things only basketball players would do.
#2 Football- The most skull-crushingly manly sport in america, football is easily the most entertaining sport to watch. Full speed on every play, every ounce of strength used in the trenches, a truly gladiator like test of endurance and athleticism. During every 5-10 second play, 50% of the time, a player on the field gets injured 100% of the time. Ya gotta be awfully manly to avoid getting knocked the fuck out, or injured, and have a long career. If it weren't for there being kickers and punters, or players crying like bitches when they've won the Lombardi, Football would be the most manly sport. Which brings me to the #1 Most Manly Sport......
#1: Hockey- That's right, Hockey! The Canadian invented sport is easily the most manly sport in the world! This fast paced sport isn't for the feint of heart. I've seen a hockey player accidentally get stepped on by another players skate right in the jugular, causing blood to start gushing all over the ice. Thankfully, the trainer came by in seconds and stuck a towell into his neck to slow the bleeding, or he would've bled out. A sport that allows fighting, unless it's the playoffs, which I never understood. Hockey players will take a puck to the grill, lose a couple teeth, get 25 stitches in the locker room, and be right back on the ice in the same game! Truly manly! The one main point about hockey is, There is no crying in Hockey! I've never seen a hockey player cry after winning the Stanley Cup, you can say what you want aboot Canadians... But they invented the most manly sport in human history!!!!
Football baby all the way!
ReplyDeleteFootball ya think? Well vote away, we'll see what the people say.
ReplyDeleteHeh. Hockey more manly for sure.
ReplyDeleteBoxing! Then Hockey!
ReplyDeleteRugby? At least at number 2/3?
ReplyDeletei cant belive that bball soccer american football are in the top 5 while rugby union the game they play in heaven isnt there it should be second after hockey soccer is pissweak and so is bball but american football if a manly sport but they wear so much padding
ReplyDeleteBaskeball manlier than soccer? Even with soccer's diving they still break each other's legs and kick testicles and heads like if they were Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat. Basketball have gargantuan men who can't even hit one another and every touch is deemed a foul. That's anything BUT manly.
ReplyDeleteBaseball isn't manly because lets face it, regardless how fit you are scoring is dependent on how hard you strike the ball (let alone hit it) and how far you can run before the ball's retrieved.
American football could be manly if it weren't so fucking break-happy. If it had no breaks they would all be crying.
Hockey is boss. End of story.